saturdays.

it's been a few days since my last post. on saturday there was a drill competition. and my friends planned a fun day that day too and i couldn't make it. =[ so yeah drill competition woke up at 4:30AM. so tired. had to wake up andy and haley too. LOL. my mom came back from new york, gave me a ride to school. still tired. i was just glad i wasn't the first one there. so as usual benson, kenton, and eric mah were picking on me again. they called me a huk gwa! ugh! D:< the bus ride was okay. i kept waking up every 10 seconds cause it was a shaky ride. so yeah black team got to compete, but when we did. it was a major epic fail. i super lagged at rest. hah, that was a downfall. then everyone got off step. =[ from what i heard red team got first place but couldn't compete for the trophy. and raider got 2nd. D; wahh. i feel bad. everyone liked my cookies though (: only second time making them. x] ummm. yeah when we got i immediately left. LOL. wasn't in the mood to socialize, and people talk about my failure. i was supposed to go play basketball and tennis with kenton today. but it's raining and wet. =[ so maybe? i unno. i might get my itouch today. but doubt it. tomorrow! is when i know for sure i'm getting it! so happy. (= spring trip is this week too. 4 days. and today is my lazy bum of a cousin birthday, dennis. =P and that's all. school tomorrow. mcas for the 10th graders this week, which means delay entries! hah suckers. (: and i should be studying for y math exam. ughh! FML.

continue.

I haven't blogged for like a week. I don't really know what to say. My day was okay and weird. So i woke up at like 12. Got a call from andy asking to go to the mall with him and andreaa. i said yeah since i have nothing else to do. so i went found out andrea couldn't go. we went on the train and there was this really creepy guy in a ski mask. omggg. so scary we got off at wolloston and got in a different part of the train. then i found out andy dragged me all the way to the galleria just for TWO burritos and coffee. LOL. we went all that way when we could of gotten it in wolloston. FAIL.
it was okay i guess, didn't buy anything except food. ahaha. it was an adventure? then we left after like 1-2ish hours there. we were waiting for the train and this dude kept staring at me he was like 10 feet away from us, and i got so crepped out. OMGG. i saw brandon tran too! LOL. so while we we went on the train waited blah blah i was going to fujis for the new cadet dinner, andy was going to go home. then andy goes i bet there going to be on the same train as us. them being the rest of the people going to the dinner. then yeah what he said came true! gged. so yeah after that went to fujis. ate and stuff benson was being a jerk calling me fat and making fun of me. what a jerkface. leo jonathan and wai kept laughing at me! ughh then benson, jonathan, leo, and wilson were going to have this wasabi eating contest thing. mad funny. i choked on my food and my water. thanks a lot you guys. and then jonathan and benson were being immature brats saying and yelling penis and lapchain. omgg. so embarrassing and there was a family behind us with their kids. and yeah then it was over. the bill was $500 for just like 10 of us. LOL. damn so much. D; then everyone wanted an after party. the party was at jonathan's i couldn't go overprotective mothers. hah. so i went home. and i saw starry dao at the t station. omgg. so weird. he likes like 5 minutes away from me too. scary stuff. so that was my day.

the worst week of my life. =[

Yeah, as the title says WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE. I know i've said things like that before. This time though it different i mean it. So i'mma make a list thing like everyone else does.

MONDAY; Monday was probably one of the worst out of all of them. It seemed like everyone was against me the whole day, or just people love pissing me off or teasing me for no friggen reason. They say it's because i'm "short", short my fat ass! Usually i would just let it go. This wasn't one of those times. Seriously three strikes and your OUT. There called one, two, and three this time. One was pissing me off saying salhdlasdk was my boyfriend, when he wasn't. Worst of all people believed he was. GROSS! Two, was pretty much doing the same thing, but thinking of me as a uncontrolled animal and needs to be taken care of. Three, i just friggen exploded on him. I shoved him and yelled and screamed. It wasn't like me; i just couldn't take it anymore. My patience doesn't last forever, and to tell you the truth i felt better after saying it. To me i think he deserves it. He was like giving me attitude and being mean to me saying shit for no reason. I like erupted like a volcano. Swore in front of three adults (teachers), at that point i didn't even care who they were, and didn't think they would be my future teachers. Those thoughts were wayyy far back in my mind. The only thing i could think of now was leaving. Joys, and i left, ran outside, surprised some of my friends still at school ran to them and started to breakdown for like the first time in like three years. The weather was strangely like my mood. Snow, rain, cold, and sleet-y.
TUESDAY; the day after the fight, screaming. People been thinking the whole thing was pretty funny. I couldn't blame them i guess? The worst was that people think i went berserk on them for NO reason. I don't do that kind of stuff for no reason; i thought all of you would know that. That was the first time i was ever that pissed, that i had to yell it out, there lucky i didn't hit them in there faces.
WENDSDAY; It was the last time i was going to see Cindy for a while. =[ The only good thing is that i found out that drill competition will be postponed and i'm still on black team. Since it's postponed unarmed exhibition won't need me. I'm relived yet disappointed? I worked hard trying to do my best but in the end i can't compete? OH well always next year...
THURSDAY (TODAY); I pretty much failed my two mandarin quizzes, 53 and a 65. Algebra i got a 60. FML. I've been doing so badly in school. Science fair presentation, ugh! I stutter too much. I can speak in front of people. I always talk too soft, or stutter. So scary! >___< Crystal came over and pigged off of me. I made her noodles and everything! LOL, were so fattt! xP We plan to go to the YMCA soon! So we can work out and lose weight! Gained so much blubber for the winter now to loose it all! >=]

hoping Friday will be better,
ROWLOW.

the snow is cold.

Don't you just hate the gut feeling of thinking someone is trying to avoid you, ignore you, or just plain hating you. Yeah, that's how i've been feeling for like the past two weeks and it feels a lot longer. What i hate about it most is that, that someone means a lot to me too. Like even though everyone else is always saying hello to me when they see me and i reply with the usual greet right back, i just can't help but feel invisible. I guess we'll call this person "SNOW". Yeah, i know weird codename but you guys get the idea? So i really don't know what happened between us. Sure, we never really talked a lot. I met snow at like the first semester of school. Snow would usually walk me to a class, unless __ got up late. Snow would wait for me while i was packing for my next classes, we were always late for class. haha sucked. Then it just stopped after February vacation. I don't know what happened but i kinda get the feeling it's my fault. I wish i knew what happened, so i can find a way to fix it. Even when i see snow in the hallways i look, and snow like lowers __ head if __ sees me. It's really weird and hurtful i guess? I said hi to snow like last week __ acknowledged that? I just really don't know what to do, sadly. I wish we were back to what we were before. The only thing i think i could do now is get over it, ignore it, and pray that in a few months everything will be back to normal between us. I guess i lost another one eh? Life, just sucks. But what i hate is that this would affect me so much and i'm angry at myself for it letting it get to me. I just don't know why but, it just hurts.. a lot. So i guess all i can do now is that i have to hope for the best. Or hope that i can get over this soon and forget it, though i hope that i don't have to go to that option.